


In dreams, We seek

by ouijaboy



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Doomed Timelines, Dream Bubble, M/M, Sadstuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-20
Updated: 2012-04-20
Packaged: 2017-11-03 23:59:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/387400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ouijaboy/pseuds/ouijaboy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Your John rocketed off to get bloodied and shattered in the lair of a boss he couldn’t beat.  </p><p>Your John died in a ridiculous teal WISE GUY SLIME SUIT.  Your John was lead to his death by a sharp girl, with red eyes and blood almost the same color as his jacket.</p><p> </p><p>Your John’s been dead for a long time now.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In dreams, We seek

**Author's Note:**

> Another word vomit, sad drabble with bad characterization boo! Beta'd by Clarity (Who puts up with all my homo)

There are places on the ship that nobody’s goes into.  Places you can go where Jaspersprite isn’t chasing you and meowing, where the consorts don’t yap and sit everywhere.  Places that are far away enough that you can’t hear Jade and John talking about you behind your back, comparing you to a different you.

A you that didn’t have to put up with 3 months of bullshitting around a doomed timeline, 2 dead friends and 1 ecto-sister who doesn’t even exist anymore.  Not in the way she used to.

Whenever they say things to you like, “That sounds like something that Dave would do.”, you want to grab them and scream until this whole three year shit storm is over

_You are fucking Dave Strider_

You are Dave Strider, you never stopped being him.  And you gave up so much just so that the two of them would stay the fuck, _alive._

 

Your curl your tail around yourself and sigh angrily, burying your face in your hands.  Sometimes, the people you share the ship with don’t even feel like the same people you sought out to protect.  And even worse, the John outside-

-Isn’t _your_ John.

He doesn’t belong to you, no matter how much you love him, no matter how long you’ve loved him.  (Before the game even started, god dammit) He doesn’t belong to you because he belongs to the other Dave.

 Your John rocketed off to get bloodied and shattered in the lair of a boss he couldn’t beat. 

Your John died in a ridiculous teal WISE GUY SLIME SUIT.  Your John was lead to his death by a sharp girl, with red eyes and blood almost the same color as his jacket.

Your John’s been dead for a long time now. 

 

Eventually, you fall asleep like that.  Curled up on a beam high in the corner of your room.

 

~*~

 

 At first you were thrilled, but now you know that every time you wake up, you’ll be back where you started.

Because that’s all this ever is: a dream bubble.

 

A dream.

 

The wind here is cool and constant.  Not like the muggy, hot wind that sometimes blew on your own land.  You float beside the river that flows sluggish and slick.  Glowing blue mushrooms sprout here and there.  You can catch hints of the fireflies sometimes, past the dark grey clouds.

You think John’s land is one of the nicest places to visit.  It’s always calm and peaceful and lovely.  But no matter how many times you’ve tried to find him here, you never do.  There are times you see a hint of blue-green out of the corner of your eye and you whirl around to find that it’s just a stupid rock or a stupid tree.

You sigh angrily and hover over to one of the bigger glowing boulders.  You sit, then hunch over yourself, closing your eyes and hissing out through your teeth. 

That stupid kid Egbert, running off like an idiot and screwing you over.  You’re hands are shaking as you clench them and you feel guilt and anger and sadness welling up in your feathered chest all at once.

 

“Dave?”  Someone calls out from behind you and you freeze.  You literally go cold.

“Dave, is that you?”

 

And you turn around slowly and it sort of feels like a cliché movie, but there he is.

He’s standing behind you in that stupid teal WISE GUY SLIME SUIT, and it’s singed and cut in places, splattered with dark stains that you don’t focus too heavily on.  His hair is unruly and the frames of his glasses bent.  His eyes are blank and white.

You can still remember the exact shade of blue they were.  Deep blue like the sky.

Something clicks and there’s no mistaking it, this boy is _your_ John.

It takes a while for the both of you to notice that you have been staring pretty intensely at each other.  He drops his gaze a little sheepishly but you don’t dare let him out of your sight.

He looks back up at you and narrows his eyes a little bit.  He takes a step towards you, “Dave…”

“-What happened to you?”

You feel something sink inside you, right into the very pit of your stomach.

 “You died.”  Your voice is so quiet. 

The corners of his mouth turn up in a sad smile.

“Yeah…I know.  I’m sorry.”

You shake your head at him.

“You died and then Jade died.  I had to go back.”  Now instead of cold you feel heat rise up right through you.  And you rise above the boulder and look down at him, angry again.

“I had to go back and turn into this.” You spit, throwing your arms out and showing him.  You lash your tail and ruffle your orange feathers and flap your wings.  You are so mad at him, for being a jerk, for being stupid.

“You left me!” and you’re Strider cool is completely gone.  Dropped a long time ago, the moment he called your name.  There was a time where you wouldn’t ever raise your voice or scream at whatever life threw at you.

‘Dammit, look at yourself Dave.’ A small part of you thinks, in the silence that follows.  ‘Throwing a tantrum like a baby, what happened to that mask of impassive and totally cool?’

But in truth you don’t really care anymore because you just want him to say something instead of staring wide-eyed and gaped mouth like he is right now.

 

You descend a little to hover in front of him and just as quickly as it came the rage washes out of you and then you’re just sad again.

“You left me.”

But it doesn’t even seem like he can hear you because he squints and his fingers reach up to brush your shoulder and he suddenly draw in a quick breath.

“Dave!” and suddenly he’s thrown against you with his arms wrapped tightly around your neck.

“You’re Dave!  You’re Dave!” he keeps saying over and over again.

“Shit yeah Egbert, I’m Dave I thought we had established this.” You are a little confused.

John buries his face in your shoulder and it’s wet and you realize with a jolt it’s because he’s crying.

“You’re my Dave. _My Dave.”_

 

And if there was any doubt before that this boy belonged to you and no one else, it would’ve been gone that second.

“I know.” You breath.

 

Quickly, things flash and blur.  You feel your feet suddenly on the ground and you glance down to see yourself in a white suit, with skin and legs and everything else.  You’re not in Sprite form anymore. 

John is still shaking and making small, quiet sobs into your shoulder.  Very slowly you put your arms around him.  You are so scared you’ll break him or something, or that he’ll disappear. 

But slowly you start to realize that yes, he is here.  And he’s not going to leave and even though his eyes are blank, he’s warm and clutching onto you and murmuring things with his face pressed against you.  You hold him tightly, pushing your face into his hair and breathing in. 

You had always wanted to hold him like this, but you never got the chance.  He turns his head towards your neck and takes in a shuddering breath and you shiver because of how damn close he is.  His breath puffs hot against your bare skin.

“I’m sorry I left.” His voice is tight and strained.

“It’s okay.” One of your hands snakes up to run through his hair, pulling tangles out gently with your fingers.

 

“And I missed you.”

You can’t help but smile and whisper back,

 

“I missed you too. “


End file.
